You know how sometimes bloggers write a really catchy title to get your attention so that you read their post? This is not one of those times. In all seriousness of the world, about a month ago, I wet the bed, and it was bad. We're talking drenched, and I was horrified, and here's how it happened.
It was a Sunday night, and I was especially more tired than normal for whatever reason. I had decided that I was going to get some work done in bed before I did my nightly routine of washing my face, brushing my teeth, going to the bathroom, etc... Around 9pm, I heard Jay crying and so I went into his room to sleep with him for a little while. At about 11pm I woke up, noticed Jay fast asleep next to me, and then headed into my bed to go to sleep for the night.
I had fallen asleep super quickly and was in the most sound sleep I'd ever been in pretty much since having children. I remember vividly having a dream about Daniel Tiger, which didn't surprise me because we'd watched the Daniel Tiger potty training episode about 30 times during the process of potty training Jay. At some point everyone started singing the potty song, "If you have to go potty stop, and go right away, flush, and wash, and be on your way!" The next thing to happen in my dream was that I was actually going to the bathroom.
Surprisingly, this is a common thing for me. I dream that I'm going to the bathroom a lot, and then I wake up go to the bathroom, and then go back to bed. But not this time. I had no warning, no idea what was happening, it just happened. The Daniel Tiger song ends, I go potty in my dream, and then instantly wake up to find that I had actually wet the bed. And we're not talking about a little bit, I was full on drenched. Can you imagine the humiliation of having to wake up your husband at 5am and say, "Um, Honey, I'm really sorry but you're going to have to get up because I just wet the bed and the entire thing is soaked." Luckily nothing got on him and he didn't yell or make fun of me, he just went with it. That is the sign of a real good husband.
Afterwards I was obviously mortified of going to sleep ever again because my 20 year streak of not wetting the bed had just gone down the drain. Then I googled adult bed wetting, and it obviously told me that I had cancer and was going to die. We're about a month out from the horrific event though, and it's nice to say I haven't wet the bed since. Although being able to say, "I haven't wet the bed in an entire month!", doesn't sound nearly as impressive as, "I haven't wet the bed in 20 years!", small steps though, I'm working on it.
The ironic part is that a few weeks before this happened, Depends, the adult diaper brand had contacted me asking if I would work with them on a sponsored post, and I said, "Oh sorry, that's not actually a good fit for the direction I'm trying to take for my site at this time..." and look who has the last laugh now.