It's been along time since I've done an update on Em over here. I said that I was going to stop doing monthly updates when we got to the point that progress wasn't happening on a monthly basis anymore, and that's basically what had happened over the last four months.
Probably the most frustrating thing we've experienced over the last 18 months is going to physical therapy each week, putting in all this effort at home, and feeling like all of our efforts have been in vain. Our therapist has always told us that she has no doubt that Em will walk one day, but she also told us that Em would be sitting over a year ago, and pulling to stand and crawling six months ago. And when those dates came and passed, and the progress never happened, it was hard.
It wasn't hard in the since that I wanted her to do these things and she wasn't, honestly I would be fine if Em never walked. I accepted what her life would be and entail along time ago, so anything we get at this point is icing on the miracle cake. The hard part was our therapist telling us it was going to happen, and then never seeing it. I wanted to walk away from physical therapy and just be done with it and move on.
Then, about a month ago, we were playing at the playground with some friends when Em sat for 15 minutes unsupported all on her own. Jay and his friends were running around on the big field next to the playground in our neighborhood, and Em and I were sitting on the top of the hill talking to other moms. The incline of the hill was just enough that Em was able to get her hips forward enough to actually sit, and she sat there all on her own and played in the grass. I was even able to run about 50 yards away to grab my phone and come back, and she was still fine. The feeling of joy that I felt was almost better than what I'd felt when she was born.
Fast forward a few weeks later and I was feeling so defeated in parenting after Jay's primary program at church, that I'd said one of those "screaming, sobbing, pleading" prayers that night, and then demanded and told Heavenly Father that he in fact owed me a good week. Then that week Em stood up all on her own at physical therapy when we were in the waiting room waiting for a prescription for her gait trainer, and then when we were at the grocery store, she started standing up and sitting down all on her own in the shopping cart, and then she started talking and saying all of these new words, and then all of a sudden I kind of felt like a huge jerk for the angry pathetic prayer that I'd said just a few days earlier. But I know Heavenly Father does here even our most pathetic pleas, and gives us what we need, when we need it.