The Conversation About Sex That We're Having With Our Five-Year-Old

In light of the recent events from this past week, we've felt that it's very important for us to start having conversations about sex and body parts with Jay. Kids are exposed to things at such young ages now, and they need to know what is okay, what is not okay, and what to do if something bad should happen.


This is a conversation that I honestly have no remembrance of my parents having with me when I was younger. The only conversation I remember happening is when my grandma had a cow at me for not having a shirt on when I was six or seven, because I was changing into my pajamas at her house, and then walked into the living room to ask her a question and she told me, "Go get your shirt on, you're a girl!" and then did no further explanation. 

Yesterday Derek and I sat down with Jay and simply had a very basic conversation about "private parts". We told him which parts they were, that we always need to have them covered, that we don't show them to anyone, and that no one touches them unless it's for the two seconds when mommy and daddy wash them in the bathtub. 

We then explained to him the importance that no one should ever see them, or ask to see or touch them. And if someone tries to, we stressed the need for him to say no and run away. We also told him that should it ever happen, he needs to tell mommy and daddy so we can fix it, even if it's another adult. 

I'm sure this is just the start of an ongoing, and open conversation that we're going to be having for the rest of his life, and our time here as parents. It's also raised so many questions though about how will I ever teach these concepts to Em? She's smart, but you can't really hold a conversation with her, and she just says, "yeah" to everything. She is also limited in what she can do physically, which makes me wonder if people will take advantage of that at some point in her life. It's definitely something that I don't have all the answers to, but protecting kids with disabilities from sexual assault just might become an entirely new soap box for me. 

I'd love to know how you are handling these conversations in your home. I'm sure that I don't have all the answers, and this is our first go around. I'd love to know what's worked well for you, books that you've read to help the process along, and any seasoned advice you may have! Let's get the conversation rolling in the comments so we can all learn from each other! 

3 comments

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  2. My kids pediatrician started that conversation a while ago. She reminds the kids each year at their yearly checkup who are safe people and who are not. Especially when it comes to doctors. She tells them that doctors are safe as long as mom and dad are in the room. And we have started talking about how if you have any questions to ask mom and dad. We won't get mad, which kids think mom and dad might get mad so they won't tell. Good luck!

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing, this is something I will tuck away and save for when I start having babies! So helpful!

    Maggie
    www.maggiedox.com

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