Getting Answers: Selective Mutism

"He'll grow out of it" or, "He's just shy, there's nothing wrong with that." Those are two common answers that we've been given time and time again over the last... basically seven years with Kyle. He's always been anxious, slow to talk, does not speak or interact with other adults almost always, it's something that we've struggled with for a long time.

Yesterday at school things kind of came to a tipping point which sparked research on our end, and led us to selective mutism. It's something that I'd heard of before, and the more and more I read, the more it sounded just like Kyle. 

Since making this video I've been in touch with his teacher, who has been incredibly supportive and agrees that it 100% sounds like Kyle. She's sent the information to the school psychologist and the school speech pathologist who will begin working with Kyle in January when we get back from Christmas break. It's been a long and exhausting 24 hours, but we're super grateful for a supportive team of people who are finally listening to our concerns as parents, and are ready to get him the help he needs. 

This video was originally filmed for IGTV, but the resolution wasn't working out, so I'm sharing here. Please feel free to share anything that might be helpful in regards to things you've done/experienced with your own child!

Be sure to stay up to date on all of the latest by following on instagram @thehappyflammily


  1. I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through. The throwing things at someone at such an innocent act of being stared at is very concerning. Could it be he may have impulse control or the inability to control his emotions. It sounds like some passive aggressive behavior as well. I am glad there is help. Everyone battles their own demons. We all have battles we fight. Violence and outbursts in school children leading to school shooters and those who never received help are the ones I fear. I am glad you are educated and no when help is needed for a struggling child. You are amazing! Keep up the good work.

    1. I should have been more clear in the video, he threw books down on a desk, not at someone. Still not good, and explosive, but a little less bad. And the pencils he threw was when he was by himself in the calm down corner, so not at anyone in particular. This is the first time we've seen this behavior in him though, which we haven't seen otherwise, but something we're taking very serisouly as well. We're working with the school but are in the process of getting outside help too!

  2. Wow! You guys have really been through so much. I'm so glad you have more information now and hopefully a lot more help answers soon too! Hang in there Mama!!

  3. If you don't already read ktmccleery's blog Patchwork Farms you may want to look her up. One of her big boys had selective mutism as a child and has since overcome it. It might be nice to read about/ or talk with another mom who's been in your shoes.