Disclaimer: This post is not for the faint in heart, but it's all truthful, and normal things that will happen when you have a baby.
When I had our first baby 2 years ago, I had a lot of friends who freely told me a lot of graphic details about when they brought their child into the world. A lot of it was stuff I either expected, or already knew. I thought that I had been mentally prepared for pretty much anything that could happen. Within the first couple weeks though, I learned a few things I would have appreciated knowing ahead of time.
Before I get started though I feel the need to say that I love my son, and clearly since I'm 29 weeks pregnant (yes, on purpose), none of this was too traumatic to make me never want to have another child. All things are temporary people!
1. Your nether region will be swollen to the size of a melon. I asked all my friends why they didn't tell me this and they all just said they just didn't look down for a few weeks and didn't know. Well, I'm here to tell you, it happens.
2. People who breastfeed are champions. I thought that this was going to be easy and I was unprepared for not only how physically draining it is, but emotionally too. Anyone who breastfeeds for the entire first year deserves a trophy. I couldn't emotionally handle breastfeeding and quit after 6 weeks. This time around I'll know more of what to expect and hope to be able to do it longer, but just know it's not a cake walk, it's legit stuff.
3. You will think your baby died the first time they sleep through the night. Jay first slept through the night at 6 weeks. I for sure thought he died, and I laid in bed mentally planning the details of his funeral for 15 minutes before eventually hearing him cooing himself awake in the room next door.
4. Baby blues are a real thing. This was one of those things that I didn't think could possibly happen to me, but it did. I was so embarrassed about it that when I went to doctors visits I would deny it's existence in my life and tell them that everything was peaches and butterflies. But I would really start crying like a mad woman at 5 o' clock every night because I was so scared about how much sleep I wasn't going to be getting that night. Sleep deprived brains can do crazy things, and it's OK.
5. Don't even try it. You will not be capable of having "husband/wife time" (due to #1), for at least 6 weeks. Just don't even put yourself through the hassle of trying.
6. Your boobs will occasionally spray milk halfway across the room... or right in your innocent baby's face. I'm pretty sure that this has to happen to everyone at least once, just laugh when it does.
7. Don't try on your pre-pregnancy jeans for at least 6 weeks. Just don't do it to yourself. They aren't going to fit, you're going to feel bad, nothing good can come from this. And, if you're like me, you'll even rip one of your favorite pairs and then you'll never be able to wear them again. Save your jeans, save your feelings, just don't go there.
8. You will love your husband more than you thought possible. Seeing Derek being a dad to Jay and taking care of him just made my heart melt (it still does). Daddy/baby time will be one of the greatest things to watch. And you'll love your husband so much that you'll want to try number 5, but you can't because of number 1. Vicious cycle I tell you.
9. You really shouldn't try running before your 6 week check-up. I thought that I was fine and good to go a couple weeks after having Jay. I went for a run one day and felt like all my organs were going to completely fall out of my body, and I was still sore from, you guessed it, number 1, and only made it a block away from our house before very slowly walking back home. Turns out your body parts are still trying to move back to where they were before the baby, so you should probably respect that a little more than I did.
10. Most importantly... people will try to explain to you how much you're going to love your baby, but until you've been there, and have experienced it yourself, there just aren't words for it. It's amazing. And the best part is, you will love your child more and more each day... even when they get to be two and throw tantrums, the love is still there, and it's the absolute best.