4 Tips For Meaningful Adult Friendships

We're in this phase of life where we're super busy with driving the kids back and forth to school (I make three round trips to the school a day), Kinsley has 2-3 therapy appointments a week, Kyle is doing two sports, and the kids are both in swim lessons. I'm blogging like a mad woman, hosting a parenting conference, and finishing up some pre-req classes for grad school. It's a much different life than before the kids were in school, we had weekly playdates, and were constantly socializing with people all the time. 


I'm at this point in life though where I have really come to crave meaningful relationships. I don't necessarily have time for weekly mom groups and playdates, but I've found myself wanting to be deeply invested in the friendships that I do have, and try to safeguard them as best as I can. 

Set Aside Special Times for Friends You Want To Invest In:
One of my best friends from back home in NY lives about 10 minutes from Derek and I in Utah now. Last year during the school year we made it a point to have lunch together about once a month while my kids were in school and it was so much fun. We'd chat for about two hours straight and have deep and meaningful conversations and it filled my cup so much. If there are people in your life that you want to have these kinds of moments with, make a plan for it, and make it a regular thing that you both look forward to. 

Get Comfortable With Being Vulnerable:
This doesn't mean that every time someone asks you a hard question you have to go all in all the time, but if you're already in a conversation with someone that you want to be good friends with, and a hard question comes up, don't be afraid to just go all in with your answers to them. Confiding those things that you normally wouldn't tell other people shows them that you're invested in that relationship. Derek and I had dinner with some good friends a couple weeks ago, and the husband isn't afraid to ask the heart wrenching questions, and because I know this is a friendship I want to invest in, I gave the heart wrenching honest answers. Did it awkwardly involve the shedding of tears? Yes. Were friendships strengthened? Also yes. 

Don't Be Afraid To Be The First One To Reach Out:
When Derek and I recently moved to our new neighborhood, there was a family that I really wanted to be friends with. We'd chatted at a couple church activities, and had a ton of similarities, but then she moved before we could really get to know each other. We're both runners though and so I reached out and said I'd love to drive to her new neighborhood and meet up for a weekend run sometime and she totally said yes. 

Don't Let Distance, Distance Your Friendship:
Piggy backing off that last point, just because my new friend was moving to a different town, I still wanted to invest in that friendship, and so I went the extra mile to make time for that friendship to grow. Likewise, since we've moved so often, there are a small handful of people that I still make a point to text with and catch up with on a regular basis, because those are friendships that mean the world to me. Last year I was dealing with a lot of hard things in my personal life, and it was so nice to be able to talk through the entire situation with a friend 2,000 miles away with a completely neutral opinion on the situation. I cherish long texting conversations with friends and feeling like we're still living in the same town, even though we're not. 

2 comments

  1. This is so true! Love all your ideas and I agree 100%. It's important to maintain those friendships of people who are special to us!

    Happy day!
    karianne

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  2. Two best friends since kindergarten and we still text often, sharing the hard times and the good times. That connection is priceless.

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